How I Accidentally Spent 40 Days of My Life Listening to BTS

Remember back in May, when Spotify had their 20th anniversary celebration? When I first saw my results, I was honestly shocked. My first song was Just Enough by Hey Ocean!, a niche indie band, which during 2020, was very on-brand for me. I was expecting Taylor Swift to be my most listened to artist, as she was my everything from 2020 to 2023. No. Girlie didn’t make my top 10 songs. She didn’t even make my top 50! All because I discovered BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close . The group swooped in and crushed my algorithm in late 2023-early 2024, and I haven’t been the same since.

According to Spotify, I have listened to BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close for 56,858 minutes of my life. That is the equivalent of listening to them non-stop (24/7) for 40 days. In 2 years, I was able to stream them for over a month of my life. That floored me. But once the initial shock wore off, the more it started to make sense. BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close had quickly become my comfort, my energy during burnout and depletion, my softness when life was harsh. They gave me permission to dream again, they inspired me to keep trying, keep growing, keep learning. They get me to and from work every day, they hold me when I cry, and they give me a great soundtrack when I’m walking the dogs. I’m honestly kind of surprised the number isn’t higher…

Numbers have a funny way of revealing truths we don’t notice while we’re living them. I never consciously decided to spend the equivalent of 40 days listening to BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close . The statistic simply reflected what my heart had already known: whenever I needed comfort, celebration, courage, or companionship, I instinctively reached for their music.

What amazes me most is this; how can something become home so quickly? I take a long time to warm up to new people in my life–I am only truly close to my two longest-standing friends (15 and 25 years of friendship), while I tend to be guarded with everyone else, even good friends I’ve known for 5-10+ years. Yet BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close has seen me at my very lowest point and at my very highest in the last 2 years. I turn to them when I want to give up, queueing up The Astronaut so I can hear Jin × Artist bio Jin Real name: Kim Seok-jinPosition: Sub Vocalist, VisualNationality: South KoreanBirthday: 1992-12-04Birthplace: Gwacheon, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea Vocalist and visual of BTS. Jin is playful and outgoing, famous for his dad jokes and “Worldwide Handsome” image, but also shows a very caring, big-brother side toward younger members. Tap again to view profile → Close tell me he loves me. I play D-Day when I need an outlet for my anger. I spin Spring Day when I'm lonely. I also turn to them when I need to release the joy and excitement I’m feeling--I’ve listened to Dynamite over 1,000 times. It’s almost subconscious at this point.

So why did I trust this music so quickly when I take years to trust people? Why do I feel most at home when I am watching Run BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close while I crochet on the couch? I can’t clean the house without blasting them from the speakers in the living room or rewatching their concerts on Viki. I run to them in these ways whenever I need reassurance or confidence, when I’m lonely or bored, happy or sad, but I’ve only been here for two short years. With people, I take a long time to warm up. My coworkers are still unlocking lore. Even my own family is not 100% admitted into my inner world. But somehow, BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close is.

BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close got me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. During the last two years, I found myself trapped in a workplace that steadily eroded my confidence. I dreaded Mondays, questioned my own perceptions, and often wondered whether I was simply failing to cope. The stress took a significant toll on my mental health. Throughout this season, BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close became far more than background music. Their songs reminded me that I deserved dignity, hope, and a future beyond the circumstances I was living in.

Eventually, after months of advocating for myself, many of my concerns were validated. The outcome was bittersweet, but I walked away with something important: proof that my voice mattered. Looking back, I don't think I would have found the courage to keep pushing forward without the encouragement, hope, and confidence I found in BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close 's music.

The way I fangirl whenever I hear Butter in the wild, or the radio at work plays Swim (while I am wearing my BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close tee shirt no less) made me realize--I had to see them live. I had to be in the room with them, screaming along to their songs, living out my love for them in person.

And it actually happened. In April, when I was privileged enough to attend the Arirang World Tour in Tampa. Against all odds, this baby ARMY won the TicketMaster war and got tickets to Day 1 and Day 2 (before they announced Day 3, much to my dismay). I’m still reeling–I was in the same space, breathing the same air, singing along with my beloved seven. Easily the best 2 days of my life thus far. From the first notes of Hooligan to the last crash of the fireworks as Into the Sun played, I was in Heaven. On the last day, as the group left the stage, Jin × Artist bio Jin Real name: Kim Seok-jinPosition: Sub Vocalist, VisualNationality: South KoreanBirthday: 1992-12-04Birthplace: Gwacheon, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea Vocalist and visual of BTS. Jin is playful and outgoing, famous for his dad jokes and “Worldwide Handsome” image, but also shows a very caring, big-brother side toward younger members. Tap again to view profile → Close yelled out “Ami, saranghae!”, to which I replied “Nado saranghae, Seokjin-ah!”. I’d like to think he heard me.

It kind of strikes me as odd how often we discount the importance of joy in our lives. Having endured such a dark time as I did recently, I can honestly say I will never again discount the sources of my joy–my dogs, human connections, art, creativity, and BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close . Without these things in my life, I don’t know how I would have made it through that season.

The moral of the story is this: gaining a connection through art is a beautiful thing. Forty days of listening to BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close suddenly feels small and insignificant in comparison to the amount of goodness and love they gave me through their music. When I say I am a devoted fan, I mean it. I stay up late to catch midnight releases, hop on livestreams while I’m working–it’s so fun to have them in my ear as I complete my tasks, like we are just hanging out together–, and stream their new album daily. When they win an award or break a record, it feels like Christmas morning. Looking back, I don't think the surprising part is that I listened to BTS × About group BTS BTS (방탄소년단) is a South Korean K-pop group formed by BigHit Music and debuted on June 13, 2013. The group consists of seven members: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Known for their powerful performances, meaningful lyrics, and strong connection with fans, BTS has become one of the most successful and influential music groups in the world. Their music explores themes such as youth, self-discovery, mental health, love, and personal growth, helping them build a dedicated global fanbase known as ARMY. Since their debut, BTS has achieved record-breaking success across the global music industry with hit songs such as “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Spring Day,” “Boy With Luv,” and “Fake Love.” The group has earned numerous awards, topped charts in multiple countries, sold millions of albums, and helped introduce K-pop to a broader international audience. Through their artistry, cultural Tap again to view profile → Close for 40 days. The surprising part is that something I stumbled across on a random day in 2023 became such an important part of my story. What started as music became comfort. What started as curiosity became community. What started as a few songs became a reminder that joy is not frivolous—it is necessary.

Sometimes the things that help us survive arrive in unexpected packaging, like “seven normal boys from Korea”.

Liked this? Come hang out with me.

💜

I’m Juliana, a writer covering K-pop, BTS, music, fandom, and all the wonderfully complicated feelings that come with loving art.

Find more of my writing and BTS/K-pop thoughts on Instagram (@juliana_94_army/), TikTok (@disco.overload25), X (@juliana_94_army), and Substack (@discooverload25).